


Why?

by Kiiyah



Category: Block B
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fear, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Fluffy Ending, Healing, Hiding, Hiding A Rape, M/M, Pretending Everything is Okay, Rape, Rape Recovery, Social Issues, maybe smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-07-25 22:50:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7550302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiiyah/pseuds/Kiiyah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jiho has a painful secret. </p><p>A story that is not easy to tell, and impossible to relive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hiding in the Dark

If there was a moment any better than now, surely it'd come, right?

The heavy thumping in chest said otherwise. His backside hurt more than words could describe, the feeling of blood leaked through the his jeans. His knees wobbled as he limped through the street, eyes burning with the need to cry, but receiving no such relief.

"Home. It's where I need to be. Nobody will ever suspect...-"

His knees hit the pavement as his legs relinquished support. Why him? Why did it hurt so much? Things like this didn't happen to men like him. "Not me. It's not me."

Attempting to compose himself was futile at the moment, so he tried regaining as much strength as he could. His pride began prodding his suffering as he "composed" himself and strode into the housing complex. The searing pain traveling it's way from his backside throbbed as he made his way into the elevator, sighing as he rest against the hand railing.

Finally the elevator landed on his floor, so he rushes out, entering the code to his home and hurrying inside.

All he wanted was to jump in bed and disappear. Be gone. But that was impossible. He is Woo Jiho.

Zico.

How could he forget? There is no way he would be forgotten so easily. Even if he did vanish, certainly it would be with a "bang" or a "pop", not a "woosh"?

It was here that the tears he'd been trying so hard to hold back, fell.

They fell, and not with the graciousness of a idol rapper, covered in makeup and effects, but a simple man, hard, heavy and dark. Real. That is what the pain felt like. Real.

Usually he wasn't like this. Usually it would be different, and he'd be strong, and able, living up to his name. He's a man for god's sake! But you don't usually get hurt like this. Usually, you don't get raped.

It was split second moment of weakness. Drinking when your depressed only makes you more, well, depressed. It creates more problems than it seems to solve. He knew that now.

Forgetting was all he wanted to do, as he stood in the bathroom. It was steamy and hot, so relaxing, so...thoughtless.  
Though even then as he hunched and limped over to the tub, sinking in, the pain bubbled up so intensely he wanted to faint.

What used to be so enjoyable, was not, at least for the time being.

 

Done with his bath, he grabbed some antibiotic cream and bended himself over the bed. Wanting to get done with it quickly, he squeezed some cream on and smeared it over his anus. It still burned like hell, though it was more manageable this time.

Switching off the lights, he slid himself under the covers, falling asleep fixedly in troubled haze.

  
Today, Block B was supposed to practice the choreography for "Toy", as practice, since they weren't very broken into the dance yet.

Practice started an hour ago. Jiho still wasn't at the studio. It was strange because he was always the first one there.

None of the members knew where or why he was absent, until their maknae informed them.

"Jiho-hyung texted me to tell you guys he's not feeling well." Jihoon said, looking up from his phone.

"He also said he might not be here tomorrow either." He refocused his attention back to the device, letting the others speak among themselves. Such a solitary maknae he'd been today.

"The least he could've done would've been to tell us earlier." Minhyuk said as he laces up his shoes. "We've wasted quite a bit of time."

"Jiho's always like that when he's sick. Maybe it's because he really not feeling well." Yukwon replied in a joking manner.

Jaehyo had this worried look on his face as he spoke "We should go check on him, to see if he's alright."

Taeil and Kyung were little over-enthusiastic."We should! Maybe we could make that porridge he li-"

"You guys don't worry about it. I'll take care of Jiho-hyung." All heads in the room turned to Jihoon. "Come on you guys, I won't accidently kill him or something..."

Taeil out a soft sigh, remembering what happened last time Jihoon tried to take care one of the members. "Fine. But if you take your horrible tasting porridge over to him, I will attack you in your sleep. I'll make it this time."

He hummed an answer of agreement as they began practice.

  
[Jihoon]

Jihoon was used to taking care of the others when they were sick. Actually, he kind of liked doing it, and was really good at it, despite what the others said.

This time was no different as he made his way over to Jiho's place. In hand he held the porridge(he'd reluctantly let Taeil make)and also painkillers, plus some medicine.

Over the phone, Jiho did sound a bit odd, so maybe he was sicker than usual, just like Yukwon had said.

He arrived at the door after using the elevator, first knocking to see if he got a response. When he got none, he entered the code, and unlocked the door. Why would he expect a sick person to open there door anyway?

There was a shuffling sound in the back, and upon inspection, found Jiho sleeping soundly under the covers. He look normal, but his temperature was pretty high, so he retrieved a bowl and spoon.

He shook Jiho awake gently, rousing him from his sleep.

"Oh, Jihoon, it's you." Jiho stretched, but then winced slightly, releasing a small hiss of pain. He was a bit worried, but said nothing as he handed over the food.

"Let me guess. Taeil made this, right?"

"Hey, how'd you know?!" He scrunched his face up in a pout.

"I know because porridge is the only thing you don't know how to make."

"Why do you do this to me Jiho-hyunnnng! You wound me. Even if I don't know how to make that, at least give me credit for other things."

"Alright, alright. You're not a bad cook.Especially your chicken dumplings. There."

"Yay!" He jumped around in a circle causing Jiho to laugh.

 

There was something off about Jiho today. It could be just the flu, but it didn't feel like that. His hands looked like they were shaking a bit, and the joy that should have been in his laugh was gone. Again, maybe it's just his sickness that contributed to his lack of color.

Before long Jiho had finished the porridge, snuggling back into the covers. He took the dirty dishes and washed them, then put aside the rest of porridge for later, then turned out all the lights.

"Jiho-hyung, I'm leaving now, and I'll be back later with the rest of the hyungs!" He yelled. A small grunt of a reply sounded back, so he left.

If something was wrong, it was too early to tell, but if something was wrong, was it already too late?


	2. Hiding in the Dark

Jiho was situated stiffly on his living room couch. The T.V. booms with the sound of a current drama, it's speaker's voice filling the stagnant air with overused clichés. Yet, he wasn't paying any attention to it, his eyes passing blankly over the screen multiple times.

Even though his outward reaction was little to none, his brain was practically running a marathon. He never usually worried about things like this. Shouldn't he tell the others? Don't they have a right to know? After all, they been with him through the best and the worst, don't they at least deserve this much trust?

If he told the members, what would they think of him? Would he be any less of a leader? Would Kyung distrust him for not mentioning it sooner?

He needed to know, but scared too. His facade was failing.

Everything was shattering, and he wasn't sure if he could fit the pieces back together neatly.

The seconds leading up to before the "incident" had been soaked in bliss, something he hadn't felt in a long time. Yet it was fake. A pulling, all consuming feeling that draws you in whole, but spits you out torn,mangled,…maimed.

He wasn't entirely convinced it wouldn't happen again.

I mean, he was such an easy target, why wouldn't have he been raped? Should he been even mad at the person who done this to him? Jiho felt as though he deserved it, all the pain, all the anger, the worry.

It was his fault for being so careless, so vulnerable, so- weak.

 

Lying on the couch, Kyung's head rested upon the lap of their most favored maknae, Pyo Jihoon. Despite his thick, rough baritone voice, he was actually quite cuddly and caring, even through the times he whined to Jiho about the parts he received in songs. It was actually quite funny, because even though he is kind, there was a time he and Kyung didn't get along.

They didn't fight or anything, it was just this awkward tension that seemed to settle between them every time they were in the same room. None of the other group mates seemed to understand why it was there, but it was. Until recently.

Jihoon had confided Kyung secretly about Jiho's deteriorating condition. Something just didn't sit well with the youngest, so he told his hyung, who been with Jiho since childhood, about how their leader seemed a little more sick than he's letting on.

"Kyungie-hyung?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think Jiho-hyung is really alright? I have this feeling he isn't. Shouldn't we go check on him? I haven't gotten a text from him for a while. Can we? Can we?!"

"Aww, out giant makanae is worrying about our tough leader." Teased the elder.

"Heeeey, stop being mean to me. I'm just worried about him."

"I know, I'm worried too, but maybe he's just really sick. He been like that a couple times in the past, so I'm sure it's nothing too serious."

"But-"

"Tell you what. Let's go visit him now. Maybe he let us stay the night over. Satisfied?"

Jihoon nodded his head, an obvious joy at the proposition of seeing Jiho. The two split up from there, going to their respective rooms to change. The outing itself wouldn't be too much of a problem, since Yukwon was staying over at Minhyuk's for the night, while Taeil and Jaehyo had gone to visit their parents. So the dorm was pretty much empty.

Later, as they made their way up the elevator to Jiho's apartment, Kyung noticed Jihoon had become unusually quiet.

"Say, hyung?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you told Jiho-hyung about your feelings yet?"

Kyung visibly tensed at the question. That was so, so unexpected. His feelings about the fresh-faced leader aka best friend pretty out of place, in comparison to his current thoughts.

"I-um, uh…-" Just right then, the elevator dinged and Kyung rushed out, ears and face flushed from embarrassment.

Jihoon quickly followed, as he wasn't very familiar with the apartment complex Jiho in. He fleetingly wondered why Kyung was so hesitant to answer his question if his feelings are strong.

The two arrived at a maroon colored door that had a number 922 on its front.

"Jihoon-ah-" Kyung's hand rested on the door handle. "I…I love him. I just don't know how to tell him. It's always been that way." He entered the key code and opened the door, slipping inside.

 

Sounds of a T.V. blaring could be heard as they entered through the kitchen, then passing into the living room.

The inside of the apartment was minimalistic in origin, or probably had been when Jiho first purchased it, but now obviously far from it.

Various toys and trinkets layed precariously on black wooden shelves, some fallen, probably knocked over. A small plastic Hello Kitty toy lay on the couch, as well as a stuffed toy of the same look. One would have a hard time believing it was the home of Block B's leader, that is, if they don't know Woo Jiho.

"Jiho-hyung?" Jihoon eyes widened upon finding their leader unmoving on the couch, his skin as pale as the first snow. If he could get any paler, that is.

"Jiho?!" Kyung ran over shaking his friend gently, as Jiho's name fell repeatedly off his lips. It was only after a few gentle shakes that Jiho roused from his sleep, lethargically slapping Kyung in the arm, telling him to "get the hell off me", "I'm awake, and "stop trying to shake the life out of me."

"Oh, my fu-, I mean god, I thought you were dead." Jihoon said, looking at Kyung who was now seated on the single couch, observing Jiho.

"It's going to take a lot more than that to kill me." Jiho replied, still sleepy, turning his gaze downward, picking rather harshly at a stray thread looping outward from his pants.

 

It was relatively quiet the entire stay. Except for Jihoon's randomness, there wasn't any conversation between the two. Jihoon, being the maknae that he is, was exploring the other rooms in the apartment. Jiho, who was still staring at the T.V with a vacant expression on his face, to be honest, was a bit terrifying. Silence did not suit him in the least.

Kyung was on his phone, trying to hide his not-so obvious-stare at Jiho. He couldn't help it. There was this strange vibe about him that he couldn't seem shake off.

"Jiho."

"…"

"Jiho!?"

"…"

"Jiho!"

"…Oh, what?"He directed his stare at Kyung.

"I had to yell at you to get your attention. What the heck is wrong? I know your not feeling up to par, but this isn't you."

"There's nothing wrong. I'm just sick, you know that." He coughed a little for added effects.

"I don't think this constitutes being sick. You don't look like the Zico that I know."

"Jiho." he corrected. "It's Jiho." He turned his back and headed for his bedroom, mumbling that he needed to sleep more, and to lock the door on the way out.

Kyung had not a word to say. If he did know one thing, it was that his Jiho had drastically changed in such a short period of time. Such was not a surprise considering his more than often mood swings, but something was missing from the picture. It seemed like over night, an abyss had formed between the two, separating the friendship faster than it had been formed.

This was the very thought that pained him. That Jiho wouldn't even trust his own friend to tell him what's gnawing at his mind.

Maybe that's just how bad it is. His conscience says he should do something, but as stubborn as that man is, there's no getting through.

Jihoon stuck his head from the kitchen, a piece of bread hanging sideways out from his mouth. "Are we leaving now?"

Kyung shot him a baffled look, then dragged him by his ear out of the apartment, shaking his head in disbelief.

These days, Jihoon's sometimes oblivious nature was really something to behold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize Jiho's apartment #? :)
> 
> Next chapter will be definitely longer.  
> I've actually been done with this for awhile, but only got around to proofreading it now.
> 
> Life is really a full-time job. Since I'm a senior in HS, things have been really busy.. even though I'm on a break now, I still have project's to do...these chapters are quite enjoyable to write on less stressful side;)


	3. Who do I trust?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zico pretends nothing is wrong, while Jaehyo faces an internal struggle.  
> Kyung, on the other hand, is still suspicious.

It had been more than three weeks since Jiho last saw any of his band mates. Which was surprising, considering that Taeil was quite the caretaker when he wanted to be. It made him feel isolated, to be honest, but at the moment, he didn’t really care all that much; he was perfectly able to cope on his own.

 

 He pushed himself out of bed, in an almost mechanical manner, and slid his feet into a pair of slippers by his bed. Not even Kyung had come. He found himself asking “why” more than often on days like this. Ever since-that- happened, he would try to rationalize, but that was no use, since he always came to the same conclusion. That was not something he wanted to admit--That it was really his fault. That if he hadn’t gotten drunk that night, it would’ve never happened. Was this what women went through when they got raped? He was too anxious-ridden to even look that up.

 

How many men are willing to admit that something like this happened to them? Next to none. There was no way he was going to tell somebody about this. It stayed between him, and nobody else. Well, it could do him some good to see a doctor—.

 

He walked into the bathroom, turning on the shower to the most reasonable heat setting. Then he went in. It did great good for washing out the thoughts, repressing them, but the sting in his bottom just kept pulling it back.

 

Jiho exited the bath and quickly dried off. He dressed in stylish but modest clothing, a brown sweater, and white jeans. Luckily the jeans weren’t too tight, so it didn’t cinch his waist in a way that his other pants would’ve. That would’ve made for a nightmare(last time he sat down, and the pants just ripped), or just a very uncomfortable rapper.

 

   He grabbed his keys and locked the front door of his apartment. This was actually the first time he’s stepped outside since Kyung and Jihoon came a few weeks ago. This very thought was startling because he used to go out nearly everyday, whether it was to meet friends, or go clubbing. Seems like his attitude has changed. Not surprising.

 

The tip of his shoe bumped a bag sitting by his door. Curiously he picked up the bag, being careful enough not to bend all the way, and picked up the bag. Sure enough, there was note attached to the bag, and opened it. Kyung has sent—he knew this even before he saw the eldest name signed on the bottom. Kyung’s handwriting was noticeably different from the rest because, unlike them, he had learned how to write quite early in life, and was gifted with ample time to perfect it. Jiho’s, on the other hand, looked like absolute shit. As far as he knew, Kyung and Taeil were the only ones able to decipher it, and their manager. Yeah, it was that bad.

 

Inside the bag were all of his favorite foods (practically anything sweet) and a couple of bags of chips, plus some water. Like a care package, except there were no fuzzy slippers, or bath salts, whatever they put in packages usually. The receipt was still in the bag. He practically doubled over when he saw the amount.”$37.98! That’s quite a bit to spend on snacks.” He mumbled, unlocking his door so he could put the treats away.

 

Kyung. It was kind of him to care, but he didn’t need anybody right now, as much as he secretly craved the contact. There was no way.

 

Just no freaking way.

 

 

He met up with the other members about an hour after he left his apartment. Despite his reclusive nature and guarded looks, the others were just as happy to have him back. Kyung stood back, his ears pink and eyes down turned.

 

“Ahh, come on, aren’t you glad to see me?” He pulls his friend into a bear hug, grinning. “It’s not that, I-“Kyung cut off, his ears turning an even darker shade. “I wasn’t sure if you a wanted see me so soon. You were pretty standoffish the last time we met. So I figured you were really sick to be acting like that.” He wasn’t wrong, but since Jiho was bent on keeping his condition a secret, he agreed with Kyung.

 

“Alright, let get started with practice.” Minhyuk turned toward the mirror at the front of the room and switched the stereo on.

 

 

 

Two hours later, and they were done. The members exited out of the room in pairs, some going to shower, and others going straight home. Jihoon and Jiho were the only two left in the room at this moment. Jiho was bit uncomfortable, mainly because of the stare that Jihoon was giving him.

 

“Umm, did you want me for something?” He asked, scratching the back of his neck. Jihoon’s face soften, and he walked over to where Jiho was siting.

 

“I’m just glad that you’re feeling better. As least from what I can see. Are you still sick?”

 

Oh, so that’s what it was. “If I was still sick, I wouldn’t be here, but yeah, thanks for asking.”

 

“Oh, you’re welcome hyung.” He ruffled the hair on Jiho’s head.”

 

“Aish, get out of here, you little rascal.” Jihoon giggled as he retreated out of the room.

 

“I really can’t hide this forever, can I?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this is a very short chapter, and that I haven't updated in awhile. I've had become very busy with a couple of other stories I'd been writing( please check them out if you like), as well as my upcoming graduation from HS. It's been quite a stressful time for me.
> 
> Trust me, I haven't forgotten about this story.


	4. Too late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeil goes to retrieve Jiho, but finds something else instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm giving a trigger warning, just in case anybody has probles with self-harm.
> 
> I'I'm pretty sure that this entire story could use a trigger warning.

The windows were drawn shut. Doors locked. Yet Jiho still couldn't shake the constant feeling of being watched. He knew no one was here; he'd checked each of the rooms of his apartment at least 10 times. Yet the feeling was.

 

In the quiet (supposed)comfort of his home, all he could feel was fear. Most nights were sleepless, and the reliance on sleeping pills was getting out of hand.

 

"Everything was getting out of hand" he thought, the insufferable mixture of paranoia and fear rising quickly. How could he go on, pretending everything was alright, when it clearly wasn't?

 

 He nervously glanced at the clock.

 

12:00am. 

 

Kyung didn't know. Taeil didn't know, hell, nobody knew. He couldn't risk it, not when the person was still out there, lurking in the darkness. Yesterday morning was a easy; there'd been daylight, but with each decreasing increment of sunlight, more darkness bled in. 

 

He'd read stories of people, women, a few men, who gone through what he had. The fear, the pain, the torture of not being able to leave their homes. He wasn't like that. He could leave. In fact, he'd done it.

 

That first day he went to back practice--no, even then, he'd been too jumpy.

 

What was he even thinking?

 

Maybe that's why Kyung had given him that look. Oh, no, he knows. He has to know. Oh, god he knows.

 

"That's ridiculous" he tells himself, gripping his own arms tightly. The air around him blew cold as a he shivered, disregarding the fact that his comforter was right next to him.

 

His life was so confusing.

 

Why was his mind doing this to him? Jiho desperately wanted to sleep, but there were no more pills. There was no booze in the house to drink, nothing to drown it out.

 

No friends to talk to. Not without the fear of judgemental accuasations, and, oh the disgust. Who'd want him after this? He was tainted and broken. 

 

Jiho subconsciously curled his hand into a fist and punched the wall, yelping as it came into contact with the hard suface. At least the pain brought a welcome distraction from the chaos of his mind.

 

Blood trickled down the injured hand, forming a crimson pool on the floor.

 

The clock now read 12:30 am. Fuck, work tomorrow, he wasn't going. There was no way he could.

 

 

 

The doorbell pinged, and pinged, with no response. Jiho wasn't going to come out. Taeil huffed, picking a stray strand off his cream colored sweater. Today was supposed to be the final practice before their comeback next week. Unfortunately, he'd been tasked with the chore of dragging Jiho out, since the younger was yet again, late. 

 

Taeil banged on the door, trying to get his attention. If he was awake, surely Jiho would have heard him by now, right?

 

Another few bangs on the door, and still no response. Taeil typed in the code on the keypad and strolled in. He was going to give Jiho some privacy at first, but he was taking way too long answering the door. Or answering him at all.

 

The door clicked shut behind him as he stepped into the kitchen, then the living room. It was still just as messy as Kyung and Jihoon had described it weeks earlier, but a few thing's had been picked up, like the empty food cartons, and dirty clothes that would normally be in the corner.

 

Then he stepped into the bedroom, falling still, his hand still on the doorknob as he assessed the scene in front of him.

 

Jiho lied at the side of his bed, head on his mattress and butt on the floor. His eyes held a pale, but glazed look, as if he'd taken too many drugs and was waiting to die. Resting his hand on Jiho's skin told him a dreaded answer.

 

He was scared, to scared to even speak, the shock setting in all too quickly.

 

It was too cold and clammy, like that of a corpse. If you drenched  him in water, it would freeze.

 

He wasn't dead, his chest still rose and fell rhythmically, but the way it did was almost mechanical, and unnatural--it's no wonder Taeil almost mistook him for a coffin dweller.

 

His left hand had a pool of blood around it, and the skin around the knuckles were so torn,The windows were drawn shut. Doors locked. Yet Jiho still couldn't shake the constant feeling of being watched. He knew no one was here; he'd checked each of the rooms of his apartment at least 10 times. Yet the feeling was.

 

 

 

In the quiet (supposed)comfort of his home, all he could feel was fear. Most nights were sleepless, and the reliance on sleeping pills was getting out of hand.

 

 

 

"Everything was getting out of hand" he thought, the insufferable mixture of paranoia and fear rising quickly. How could he go on, pretending everything was alright, when it clearly wasn't?

 

 

 

 He nervously glanced at the clock.

 

 

 

12:00am. 

 

 

 

Kyung didn't know. Taeil didn't know, hell, nobody knew. He couldn't risk it, not when the person was still out there, lurking in the darkness. Yesterday morning was a easy; there'd been daylight, but with each decreasing increment of sunlight, more darkness bled in. 

 

 

 

He'd read stories of people, women, a few men, who gone through what he had. The fear, the pain, the torture of not being able to leave their homes. He wasn't like that. He could leave. In fact, he'd done it.

 

 

 

That first day he went to back practice--no, even then, he'd been too jumpy.

 

 

 

What was he even thinking?

 

 

 

Maybe that's why Kyung had given him that look. Oh, no, he knows. He has to know. Oh, god he knows.

 

 

 

"That's ridiculous" he tells himself, gripping his own arms tightly. The air around him blew cold as a he shivered, disregarding the fact that his comforter was right next to him.

 

 

 

His life was so confusing.

 

 

 

Why was his mind doing this to him? Jiho desperately wanted to sleep, but there were no more pills. There was no booze in the house to drink, nothing to drown it out.

 

 

 

No friends to talk to. Not without the fear of judgemental accuasations, and, oh the disgust. Who'd want him after this? He was tainted and broken. 

 

 

 

Jiho subconsciously curled his hand into a fist and punched the wall, yelping as it came into contact with the hard suface. At least the pain brought a welcome distraction from the chaos of his mind.

 

 

 

Blood trickled down the injured hand, forming a crimson pool on the floor.

 

 

 

The clock now read 12:30 am. Fuck, work tomorrow, he wasn't going. There was no way he could.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The doorbell pinged, and pinged, with no response. Jiho wasn't going to come out. Taeil huffed, picking a stray strand off his cream colored sweater. Today was supposed to be the final practice before their comeback next week. Unfortunately, he'd been tasked with the chore of dragging Jiho out, since the younger was yet again, late. 

 

 

 

Taeil banged on the door, trying to get his attention. If he was awake, surely Jiho would have heard him by now, right?

 

 

 

Another few bangs on the door, and still no response. Taeil typed in the code on the keypad and strolled in. He was going to give Jiho some privacy at first, but he was taking way too long answering the door. Or answering him at all.

 

 

 

The door clicked shut behind him as he stepped into the kitchen, then the living room. It was still just as messy as Kyung and Jihoon had described it weeks earlier, but a few thing's had been picked up, like the empty food cartons, and dirty clothes that would normally be in the corner.

 

 

 

Then he stepped into the bedroom, falling still, his hand still on the doorknob as he assessed the scene in front of him.

 

 

 

Jiho lied at the side of his bed, head on his mattress and butt on the floor. His eyes held a pale, but glazed look, as if he'd taken too many drugs and was waiting to die. Resting his hand on Jiho's skin told him a dreaded answer.

 

 

 

He was scared, to scared to even speak, the shock setting in all too quickly.

 

 

 

It was too cold and clammy, like that of a corpse. If you drenched  him in water, it would freeze.

 

 

 

He wasn't dead, his chest still rose and fell rhythmically, but the way it did was almost mechanical, and unnatural--it's no wonder Taeil almost mistook him for a coffin dweller.

 

 

 

His left hand had a pool of blood around it, and the skin around the knuckles were so torn, it needed stitches to heal. Blood dribbled put from the wrist of his right hand, and his left wrist didn't look so well either.

 

Jiho glanced up at him weakly, eyes widening momentarily in shock, then shut  all too quickly, alarming Taeil and shaking him out of his shock.

 

The panic set in and he called the ambulance, then tried to get ahold of the others, and then tried to clean up all the blood.

 

He gave up cleaning, pulling Jiho into arms and patting his head, tears running down his face.

 

It was horrifying, to find one of his friends in this position, and even just holding Jiho and waiting for the ambulance, he couldn't help but wonder how this happen, how he missed all the signs.

 

How come he didn't notice this sooner? What the hell was wrong with him, or much more, all of them?

 

Just how much didn't they know?

**Author's Note:**

> Kyung is not the one who raped him. In fact, it's none of the Block B members.
> 
> Based off of a scene I read in "The Kite Runner" which I currently reading as an summer reading assingment. If you read it, do you know what scene I'm talking about?
> 
>  
> 
> I am against violence for both genders, such as the rape this story portrays, but this sort of like raising awareness in a way?
> 
> It gets better. At least for this stories characters.
> 
> Also this the first story I've posted on this site,so....yeah.


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